ENCOURAGING IDEAS
May you be commended for your desire to help a grieving widow as she looks for her new normal. The following ideas are merely suggestions of ways you can offer your support and encouragement, immediately and long term.
Be Available...
- Make time for her, even it it means putting your needs aside. Look for signs that indicate her most difficult time of the week, and be a presence in her life at that very moment.
- Make time to listen, whether it be for a phone call or time together. But don’t hold back for the perfect opportunity. Seize the moment. Plan it. Whatever it takes, just do it.
Be Supportive...
- Be willing to meet a physical need, like picking up the groceries or shoveling the driveway. Look for practical ways to help, like watching her children while she mows the lawn. Even better, show up when she's not home and mow the lawn for her!
- Encourage her to find a support group and seek out a counselor.
- Offer to accompany her to doctors appointments, court dates, or celebrations.
- Give her flowers, cards, music, gifts for no reason at all.
- Send her notes with Scriptures promising God’s love and faithfulness, but do be tender to the state of her faith as she grieves.
- Sit with her in church and at events.
- Offer her a ride to church, a party, or school function.
- Treat her to dinner and a light-hearted movie.
- Offer to watch her kids in the evening, so she can go out by herself or with other friends.
Be Understanding...- There is no time frame on grief.
- Allow her time to heal slowly and without expectation.
- Love her unconditionally.
- Give her a hug, a touch to remind her of the warmth of human touch.
- Listen for suicidal thoughts and be sure to seek help for her if the situation warrants.
Be Useful...
- Encourage her to create a new financial budget and wise financial choices.
- Support her decisions to pursue an affordable lifestyle, even if it means making dramatic changes, including a move, a new job, or giving up an expensive hobby. Be available to her as she talks through ideas pertaining to housing, income, transportation, travel.
- Help her to find a job or a way to generate additional income.
- Fill the freezer each month.
- Even better, bring fresh meals!
- Offer to store family photographs until the pain lessons.
Be Careful...
- Not to act offended if she does not show her appreciation for what you are doing. She can’t. She’s hurting.
- To not over step bounds by giving advice repeatedly, unless you see her hurting herself or her children.
- To not assume that offering to help gives you the right to voice your opinion.
- To not share the details of your conversations to others.
- To not fix her up with a date.
